Passtimes with the Feline

I love me some Feline (and Fellini's pizza for that matter). The best thing about cats is that they try to just mind their own biznatch and be all cool, and then you just come in there and mess everything up. These are the best tricks i have for annoying and messing with your cats:

one. Put that sucka on a leash. You can't just have that thing running lose like some lion. I love watching them trying to defy it like they think really have an option.

two. Give it a bath. Did you know that cats love water? Better yet, serenade it with a harmonica. Cats love the sound of harmonicas.

three. Read it "Garfield has Feline Leukemia" before it goes to sleep. Sweet dreams.

four. Cat-a-poult it. Yes, that was pun. Someone please stab me for saying it. But anyway, test out the theory. They always land on their feet.

four and four quarters. I used to live with this girl who had a Hello Kitty waffle maker. Isn't that where you put cats to warm them up? Guess that explains what happened to Jasper.