Lies My Parents and the World Told Me

one. Toys are alive. I'm pretty sure everyone from my generation can blame Toy Story for their ruined spirit. After watching this movie I went home and told Jasmine and Simba that they could come to life and I wouldn't tell anyone. Yeah Pixar, it never happened.

two. When I was a youngin', I would receive Christmas presents from my cats and/or dog (aka: Murphy, dog; Amos, cat). One year, Amos, being a practical cat and all, got me some Fruit of the Loom from Target (note: I was four-ish, so F of the L is totally excusable). Now let me back up for a second and let all of you know that Amos' leg was messed up and he dragged it everywhere. Anyway, I asked my mom how Amos got the Loom and she said (get ready for the lie!), "Amos dragged himself to Target and wrapped it for you." And then I said, "Well Amos doesn't have a job, how did he pay for it? (see how smart I was...still cheap!)" Mom said, "We loaned him some." I have no words for this. My parents let that cripple drag himself to Target to get me some Loom...terrible.

three. The "D" from the Disney logo (see below) is supposed to be a "D," not a backwards "G." Yeah, Gisney.

four. Animals can talk. After seeing the movie Cats and Dogs I believed that my animals could talk. I told Maggie (dog) and Murphy (dog) if they wanted to talk to me, I wouldn't tell anyone. Little did they know that if this actually happened, I would've told anyone that would've listened. But anyway, did this ever happen? No. And now they will never talk because they're dead.

four and four quarters. One time my mom and I were in line at the pharmacy to pick up some drugs. As many of you know, they keep hmm..adult stuff... in that glass casing under the counter. So I asked my mom, "What are those colorful things with the people in the sunset?" She replied, "Oh, those are vitamins for adults." Mom, I'm an adult now and I should probably start taking my vitamins.

Awkward Circumstances

I'm all about the awkward, and I'll make it awkward just for the sake of being awkward. Here are some ways to make things awkward (and I just used "awkward" 4 times in 2 sentences).

one. Join Facebook groups that you shouldn't leave, and then leave them. For example, join the "I have never had sex with a goat" group and then leave it a few months later.

two. Pee in sinks. (see Baby Mama)

three. Lift up children and/or small animals and start singing "The Circle of Life."

four. Wear see-through swimsuits.

four and four quarters. Post unheard of words on Urban Dictionary that do not make any sense. For example, "Centaubear," or a mix between a Bear and a Centaur (half horse, half man). (See "Pegasus Hair").

Random, random. Read all about it.

Here are the most obscure facts I could come up with about myself. Enjoy.

one. Every time I am at one of those events where you have to "tell something random about yourself' I tend to choose one of two things to say:
1. My sister's name is Mary Kate Olson. Of course, no one ever believes me and then they ask if I'm Ashley Olson. No, not last time I checked. Oh right, have you ever gotten that before? I bet you get that all the time!
Note: This is not actually a fact about me..bahahaha, success!
2. All of my fingers are double jointed. I am not quite sure how this will ever help me in life, but hey, I've gotten something going for me.

two. The reason I do not like country music is not because of the sound of it. In fact, I enjoy a good bluegrass. The reason I avoid this music is because it is essentially pop music with God, drinking, and an ex lover somehow blended together. For kicks, let's add a slide guitar!

three. I correct people's grammar in my head. Grammar Judger Anonymous.
Note: You're doing well, not good. :)

four. I'm wearing my pajamas that I got from the guys department at Walmart and they are my favorite. I wear them when I'm really tired, as if they have magical deep sleep powers.

four and four quarters. I have no idea what I want to with my degree or my life for that matter. I just want to have fun and get paid for it (haha, I know, such a great life goal). I guess I will figure it out when I need to, but I'll just have to live in the unknown for awhile. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making a bad choice by majoring (Psychology) in something that is not pre-professional (like Business, Education, etc.), but I know I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't do something I really wanted to do.

Shuffle

So here's the deal, I'm doing something so fresh, so clean. I'm going to shuffle my massive ipod library and whatever four and four quarters song come up, I'll try explain the significance of that song to my life.
For clarification, I'm skipping over songs that I have no idea what they are.

one. "Control" by Moses Mayfield. Back in my freshmen year of high school, I went to a Switchfoot concert. My friends Lindsay, Kelida, and I were all chilling outside Switchfoot's bus before (well, and after) the show in hopes of getting to meet them (success, by the way). This family came up and started talking to us, and they mentioned that they were the family of the lead singer of Moses Mayfield (the opening band). They were actually pretty nice and had this conversation with us about the band. When Moses Mayfield actually played, they sounded good to my immature 14 year old ears. Now, I probably wouldn't listen to them...but hey, I met the lead singer's family!

two. "Misery Business (Live)" by Paramore. This band reached their peak as I was a junior in high school. I tried so hard to not like them since everyone else did, but they're actually pretty decent. I laugh at my youthful attempts to be cool. I still listen to them, and it just gets me all pumped up for the day. Plus, Hayley (lead singer)-- I may be a tad jealous of those vocals.

three. "Clocks" by Coldplay. This song...goodness, it's a bit overplayed. Back in either my freshmen or sophomore year of high school, we played this in one of our band shows. I got the solo/lead part, which was pretty tight. I would get SO nervous before I had to play, but overall I think it turned out okay. Playing this song was the first time I had solo-ed in front of a large group (2-3k).

four. "Stay (Wasting Time) (Live at Piedmont Park)" by Dave Matthews Band. Once upon a time I went to the Dave concert at Piedmont Park. It was up there with one of the best days of my life. You hear those people clapping in the background of this track? Yeah, that's me, Amy, and Regan. There was so much smoke (from cigarettes, of course!) that there really was a purple haze and my nose bled from the secondhand smoke. Party!

four and four quarters. "Day Tripper" by The Beatles. My mama always said I needed to be cultured, so we listened to Rubber Soul and other Beatles albums in the car. But all jokes aside, one things my parents really pushed was that I knew the history and culture of where I came from so I could understand the world and it's people better. Every time we would drive around, my mom would be our historical tour guide (whether it was about her life or actual history). If nothing else, it's helped in trivia. Needless to say, The Beatles reminds me of my parents and their attempts to culture me.